memo

To: Mother Nature
From: Jen
Re: heat

Hey big mama in the sky,

Did someone forget to turn your calendar over a page about 3 weeks ago? Because maybe you missed that it's September, now, and quite nearly October. We have turned the corner past the equinox and have moved onto that part of the year properly referred to as 'autumn' and commonly referred to as 'fall'. Trees are starting to turn orange, red and yellow, apples and squash are ripe, and the children have been back at school for 3 weeks now.

So what gives with temps in the mid-80s and uncomfortable humidity?!

If I wanted that kind of heat this late in the season, I'd move to Texas or somewhere else adequately southern. But I live up here in the north, where we have places like Embarrass that pride themselves on their cold temperatures and where one can fairly reliably put away the shorts and tank tops by mid-September in favor of jeans or at least long pants.

Granted, there will always be a week of warm weather after it's gotten cooler, but that usually plays out as cool temps - 3 or 4 days of upper 70s - back to cool temps. So what's going on? Can we get an explanation, or if not, a simple return to normal temps?

Please, on behalf of the preggo gals here in the northland, turn it down a few notches, will you? I am so tired of sweating and I'm starting to think that the week we had of blissfully cool pull-on-a-sweater weather was just cruel taunting. And would one mother really do that to another?

PS: I know that you are getting counter-arguments from Utah from a certain woman named Heather B. Armstrong who happens to hate winter with a fervent passion, but please keep this in mind: one, she isn't pregnant, and two, while she can easily pull on a sweater, I can only take off so much clothing before I get arrested for indecent exposure.